Well... today has pretty much turned ugly. On Sunday I learned of some information regarding China's new adoption laws that go into effect on May 1st. I learned that some of the new regulations might restrict us from being able to adopt from there. I emailed an agency to ask them the specifics. Today when I got home for lunch there was an email waiting for me that confirmed what I already suspected. We will not be able to adopt from China. I don't understand why this is happening to us. It doesn't make sense. We really felt as though this was what we were supposed to do, but now there is this. It might sound crazy because we hadn't even begun the process, but both J and I are feeling such a sense of loss. We will still probably adopt from somewhere, but unless a miracle happens, it will probably not be China.
Then while we were just sitting down for dinner, my Mom called. My Dad is in the hospital. He has pneumonia, heart failure, kidney failure, and is having an angioplasty tomorrow. The angioplasty could cause his kidneys to shut down altogether. They already know that he has a blockage someplace as he has tissue damage. They said that he must have had a small heart attack at some point. He has been seeing doctors for chest pain off and on for a while. I feel so horribly guilty because I can't be there with them. They live in Illinois, about an 8 hour drive from where I live. My sister is there with them, which I am very grateful for, but she has a lot to deal with on her own. (She has a daughter with a serious illness, which is another post altogether.) On top of that, my Mom has a horrible cold and feels terrible. She isn't in the best of health herself, so this cold, and the stress of my Dad being sick is just more than she should have to deal with. It seems the last year or so both of my parents health has been declining, rather rapidly. I know they are older, my Dad is almost 82, and my Mom is 76, but I'm not sure that I am ready to carry on life after they are gone. It is a scary thought to think that these people that have always been there in your life will someday be gone.
All in all, a pretty yucky day.